Today, the experiment begins.

I keep calling it a social experiment, but I suppose that's a verbal force of habit. This experiment is purely physical.

Yesterday I made some crazy plans with a couple co-workers to head to Mexico in one month to meet up with a band of strangers and share a house. Having recently been dragged through somewhat of an emotional ringer with the break-up of a 4+ year relationship, this trip is both needed and terrifying. On the cusp of bathing suit season, and for the first time having to give a shit what I look like in a bathing suit, after years of unconditional love, the pressure is on.

Now, let's backtrack a little. I am already doing due diligence with getting myself back to good, physically. I'm working out, eating much better than I have been in recent history, and in a positive mind frame about where I am going. In this spirit of the insanity of this pending trip, and with a tiny bit of a self-destructiveness in my blood (I am a Scorpio, mind you), I thought I'd throw a little gasoline on the fire. Go for broke, if you will.

Last night I paid a visit to Walgreens with my enabler, Sandy D. I bought some weight maintenance vitamins, some Hoodia and some Slimfast. I related to the check-out girl that I had a big trip coming in a month and had to step up my game. She laughed until I followed that comment with, "This cocktail could cause my heart to burst. You may be the last person to see me alive." Grim, yes.

After Walgreens, I went to the gym, ate a light dinner and went to sleep. After all, tomorrow was another day. A day of beginnings.

During this process, I have decided to chronicle my feelings, both physical and emotional. I will even interject others' perceptions of how I am behaving. "Amber's looking sleepy today." "That evil bitch won't stop staring me down." "Why can't she stop crying?" Those sorts of things.

I will aim to do at least one entry a day, but 3 would be ideal. One per mealtime, gauging my optimism, energy level and emotional state. Don't miff if I don't come through. I will indeed keep you posted. Maybe I'll even throw in some photos, though don't cross your fingers for any bikini shots.

It's 10:39 A.M. on Tuesday, March 4th. I had my vitamins, a Slimfast and some coffee this morning. On my second bottle of water. Feeling good. Even beat Colin in ping pong this morning, which I attribute to sharp reflexes. Maybe it's the guarana.

A post-lunch post to come, and our first of many guest entries.