Motley PEW!

A few people have asked me how the show was. “Enh”, I say. I think I did much more mocking than rocking for this show in particular. Here’s why I think I am left with this blasé feel, after all that anticipation…

First of all, I think some song renaming is in order. We'll start with these:

Indoor Voices at the Devil
Mild Side
Without Prunes
Rest Home Sweet Rest Home

During 'Kick Start My Heart' Mick actually fell and a tech came out, defibrilator in tow. Lovely. Tommy was swinging over the crowd during his now-trite-in-its-attempt-to-wow solo and I begged for him to rip off a leg and dangle over the crowd, raining blood.

"Titty Cam" was the same ole shit, but for every year I age I get more and more evil-pissed that the cromags around these poor, misguided women always have to reach out and fondle. God, please let me be close enough just once to get a good grip on some asshole's forearm and find a quick fulcrum for a clean, but painful break. Fuckers.

Every time MC announced they were gonna "rock" a new song, the audience quickly, and unanimously, found their seats. Made me think... They should bring in The Crue to dissolve riots. They'd announce they were going to play some "new shit" and all the looting miscreants would act as if tranquilized and take a seat.

The show wasn't very exciting, no matter how much fire they had on stage. Sadly my trip to the pisser upstaged The Crue.

So the highlight of the night goes to Don, who had a lovely conversation with a Steak 'n' Shake that ended with this world-class quote:

"I'll have to file that under fictitious. It's a big file."

All in all, Motley Boo.